Pilgrimage epilogue 3 - My heart is ready

If you’ve been following my journey from the preparation phase, you might remember two posts about getting my heart ready. In these, I reflected on the personal journey that led me to the Shikoku Henro. What began as an attempt to recover from grief and find a distant goal to work toward gradually became an exploration of Buddhism, despite my long-held skepticism toward religion and spirituality. Along the way, I discovered unexpected parallels between Buddhist teachings and my own experiences—particularly around desire, suffering, mindfulness, and the search for meaning.

Indeed, these are lofty and weighty subjects. However, during the pilgrimage, I met many pilgrims from different age groups and from all over the world. Most of them seemed to have similar reasons for undertaking their own pilgrimage, and the search for meaning came up often in conversation. Some were between jobs and trying to figure out what they wanted to do next. Others were just starting their adult lives and exploring future possibilities. Some—like myself—were there to mend their hearts and minds after a difficult period in their lives. It was comforting to see so many similarities within such a diverse group of individuals. It helped me understand that, at the core of our being, we all struggle with and strive for many of the same things. It restored my trust in other human beings in a way I would not have imagined possible a year ago.

In those earlier posts, I described the feeling of “wanting to stop wanting.” I still feel this way, but it has evolved into “wanting to stop wanting things to be a certain way.” What I came to realize during the long walks between temples is that we do need a destination—a point we want to reach or work toward. But that point or goal isn’t fixed; we only imagine it in a certain way in our minds. We shouldn’t be disappointed if reality doesn’t live up to our expectations, aspirations, or dreams. We need to trust that things will turn out exactly as they should and that this uncertainty is part of the beauty of existence. In truth, we have far less control than we like to believe, and that is perfectly fine.

A little after the halfway point of my Henro journey, things started clicking, and I entered a state of flow. It was incredibly liberating to simply go with whatever appeared on my path and adapt in the moment. I stopped constantly worrying about whether things would work out, whether I would be okay, or whether I should have booked something earlier. I simply started walking in the morning, visited temples along the route until I grew tired, ate when I was hungry, drank when I was thirsty, and slept deeply. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a simpler form of happiness in my life. The funny thing is that, in many circumstances, this kind of happiness is available to anyone, anywhere, at any time. It is simply hidden in its simplicity, and we need to remind ourselves of it from time to time.

It has been over a month since I completed the pilgrimage. Since then, I’ve been traveling through Japan and Southeast Asia almost nonstop—first exploring Kyushu for a month, and then visiting Korea, Hong Kong, Thailand, and now Vietnam. During my travels, I’ve tried to maintain the Henro mindset and simply go with the flow. If I want to do something, I just go for it and trust that it will work out. So far, I’ve found myself on volcanoes near Kagoshima and Kumamoto, on a surfboard in Aoshima (something I’ve always wanted to try), on top of a mountain in Korea, at a Vietnamese sanctuary at sunrise, and in countless other incredible places. After I return home in a week or so, there will undoubtedly be many more things to do and places to explore. And if circumstances allow, I will definitely return to Shikoku in the future. I’m not done reciting the Heart Sutra, and I promised someone I would catch a wave at a certain beach with them 😉

The analogy of catching waves is actually very appropriate. Waves are unpredictable, and you’re never 100% sure whether you’ll catch one or how far it will take you. At the very least, I can say that my heart is ready to stay in the moment and keep catching waves. Things will not always go as I expect. There might be no waves, and some waves may break early, but that is simply how they are meant to be.